Monday, October 29, 2012

The Late Afternoon of Living Semi-Dangerously

I was minding my own business, relaxing in the late afternoon sun while keeping an eye on the hens and rooster (one my favorite pastimes). Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, the lady came near me with the camera. As is my wont in this type of situation, I prepared to high-tail it outta there. Then I noticed she seemed to be interested in photographing something other than me. Now, it is well-documented that I do not like being photographed, but what I like even less is attention being directed anyplace other than on me. So, I did what I had to do--I made a very risky move in a bid for the attention to which I am so very much entitled.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Stupid Pooparazzi

The lady wants to take a picture of me in my wicker chair on the balcony, but every time she tries, I jump down and come over to her because I'm sure she will give me something good to eat (even if it is not dinner time).

About a week ago, I was curled up on the chair when the lady peeked out the door and then quickly disappeared. Shortly thereafter, I heard that whirring sound the camera makes when she switches it on. I knew what she was up to! She was turning the camera on while she was inside the house, thinking she could sneak up on me! A few seconds later, when she pointed the camera out the door (very stealthily, I might add), this is what she saw:

(Photo of chair was not taken on actual day events occurred)


And I'm not coming back.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Rainy Days and Mondays

I enjoy a little rain. Especially after all the heat we had last week. I like to get my furs a bit wet and then take a thorough bath. If I want to get out of the rain, I have an Igloo on the balcony, and in the garage (which is cozy because it is dry-walled and insulated), I have a pile of comforters and also a bed by the window (I'll show you those in an upcoming post).

Hey, lady. Come outside and check out the rain.

That's not dandruff. That's the flash reflecting off raindrops.

The chair I sit in to warm my furs on a sunny day, and the Igloo for coziness purposes.

 Due to weather conditions, there has been a delay in my trip aboard the royal yacht. Also, I was informed of a problem with some dogs who tried to board the vessel dressed as cats. They are being detained and questioned.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Long Live Me!

As you may have heard by now, the wise and benevolent King Spitty has made me King of California (Central). This was due in no small part to the fact that I unofficially held the titles, "King of Everything" and "King Mr. Black" for a quite a few years. You can read about my coronation and the oath I took over at King Spitty's blog, but I wanted to take a few moments to share some details of the celebrations.

The coronation exceeded in pageantry and magnificence anything that the kingdom of California (Central) has witnessed in the past. Immense crowds watched the royal procession, and cheered with enthusiasm as the new King (that's me) walked amongst them. At the moment of the coronation the trumpets sounded, salutes were fired and the vast assemblage of felines outside the building cheered and shouted, "Long live the king!"

The reception for the king (that's me) included a naval review, a performance at the opera, minor celebrations and pageants, among which was the "Festival of Felis Gigantus" at the Catnip Pavilion. MILLIONS WERE IN ATTENDANCE.

One of the features of the day was the singing of Tabby, Manx, Persian and Calico airs by a chorus of 150 voices under the direction of Prof. W. McKatzie. As at the ancient ceremonies of coronation of the French cat kings, after the ritual of the sprinkling of the catnip, some white doves were let loose, causing much excitement amongst the crowd.

My immediate plans will include a cruise on one of the royal yachts to recuperate from the fatigue of the ceremonies.

Below are my coat of arms, my official royal portrait, and a photo of me surveying a small part of my vast landholdings. My eternal gratitude to King Spitty for commissioning these works from his court painter and scribe.

I am also known as the "Shy King."

A contemplative moment.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Oh, deer.

The lady is grumbling a lot because deer are coming into the garden at night and destroying our plants. I patrol the area in the daytime and I'm sure that my similarity to a panther frightens them away.

But at night, when I am inside for my safety, they have a party. Look what they did:
Cyclamen before deer...

...and after deer.

Fortunately, the lady clipped this rose and put it in a vase.  That very night...

...the deer showed up and ate most of the leaves. Chicken-wire had to be put around the rose.

I'm just taking a little break. I can't be on patrol every minute. Sheesh!

Thursday, October 18, 2012


My favorite spot to take an afternoon nap is on my bench. It is especially nice on a hot day because it is on the east side of the house and gets a lot of shade in the afternoon. When it is warm, the lady can get a few more pictures of me because I don't feel like moving. Usually, as soon as she starts to take a picture, I move (heh, heh).

I was napping. Why are you disturbing me?

Go away.

I loves me some bench.

We don't get snow often. I am NOT napping on the bench this day.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The Case of the Missing Delectable

I would like to thank Austin over at (CAT)achresis for giving me this "One Sweet Blog" award.

I know that when you accept awards, there are rules to follow, but I'm just so busy with napping, etc., that I really don't have enough hours in the day. ANYWAY, as you can see, this award features some delectable cupcakes.

Excuse me for just a moment, the lady is asking me something. I'll be right back...

Okay, I'm back. She said that she has seen this tray of cupcakes on other cat blogs and one cupcake is missing from my tray. I told her she must be mistaken, but she went and got a photo of the tray at (CAT)achresis as "proof."

I'm not sure what she is implying. I told her I'd "investigate" the matter and get back to her.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

The View

I really like to sit on this spot on the balcony railing because I can see the chickens in their coop, observe birds in the birdbath, catch anyone trying to sneak up the stairs, and, if I turn a little to my left, I can watch the lady at the kitchen sink. Yes, I know there is a lovely view to my right, but I have bigger fish to fry. M-m-m-m. Fish.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Garden Mini-Tour

I wanted to give you a small glimpse into my garden. If you will stay together and not wander off, we can begin the tour. A quick reminder: no flash photography as it annoys your guide.

Please follow me.

This is my miniature garden. That white blob is a sheep.


Climbing rose: "Scent from Above."

This is how you "work the soil."

This was obviously a very brief tour. Things you will see in upcoming visits:   The 1/2 wine barrel pond covered in algae! Deer-nibbled plants! The compost pile! The many unfinished projects!

I can barely contain my excitement.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Butters Loves Woody

I mentioned Butters the Psycho cat in a recent post. What I failed to mention is that he was a feral cat that nobody could get close to. He was adopted from a cat rescue by the neighbors about three years ago. Their other cat, Taco, is also feral and she was adopted about six years ago. Both cats have grown to love Woody the dog, but Butters ADORES Woody and won't let him out of his sight. He follows him everywhere, takes naps with him, grooms him, plays with him and even lets Woody eat some of his kibble.

Butters used to stay far, far away and only eat his food after it was left for him and the person feeding him was long gone. Little by little he grew to trust people enough to be nearby while they fed him. Now, if people he knows are careful and don't scare him, he will let them pet him a little. He has taken a liking to the lady and lets her pet him a lot and even brush him. But it is Woody he worships, and Woody seems to like Butters a lot.

I don't know. Sounds like a lot of hooey to me...dogs and cats as buddies? Sheesh. What is the world coming to?

Look how Butters' tail is wrapped around Woody's shoulder.

Woody looks like he is hoping that word about this doesn't get out.

Almost a full 'tocks shot.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

I Had a Dream

I was so enamored of the photos of the grounds of the nursery that the lady visited (and of the pretty girl-cat [see last post]), that I had a dream about going there myself. I'll see how much I can remember; you know how dreams are...they only come back in bits and pieces.

First, I paid a visit to the little cottage where I think Puss in Boots lives.

I waited for him (see me there on the roof?) hoping to talk to him and make sure he wasn't mad at me for dressing up like him last Halloween. I hope he doesn't think I'm up to something. Maybe sitting here on the roof over his doorway wasn't a good idea. Of course, it is possible he never showed up because he was out on some adventure.

Then, there are some parts of the dream I don't remember...something about catnip...and I don't even like catnip.

Anyway, I did go over to the Koi Pond to stare those big fish down.

They were very scared. So scared that they stayed in the same spot. I never saw them move. I could have grabbed one of them if I was so inclined. But, since it was a dream, and I knew I could have them for dinner any time I wanted, I went on my way.

Finally, I found that cute girl-cat and gave her a nice pat on the cheek and gently scratched her ear because it was itchy. I think she likes me. Likes, like! (I can dream, can't I?)

Friday, October 5, 2012

A Cat I'll Never Meet and Some Fish I'll Never Eat

Recently, the lady visited a local nursery to look at the plants and wander through the lovely grounds.

While she was there, she saw a kitty that lives at the nursery taking a little drink from one of the fountains.  She was a lovely thing; too bad I'll never meet her. The lady took another photo of her, but she didn't want to open her eyes.

Also, there was a pond with very big fish swimming in it. I hope my Fancy Feast has some of those fish in it. I don't think they have an "Ocean Whitefish and Koi." Maybe  they're in the "Mixed Grill."

Then she saw a really small house, like out of a fairy tale.  I'm almost positive that Puss in Boots lives there.

I'm not a traveling cat, so I could only enjoy it through photos.  I might have dreams about that place tonight.  If I do, I'll let you know tomorrow.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

I'm Connected, Baby!

Hey, I forgot to mention that we've been back online for almost two weeks! We had dial-up until 2010, and then it got so slow, it was worthless.

Since we live way, way out, we now have satellite internet. But, two years went by when we had no connection at all and would drive to the local library to use the free WiFi. The lady intended to keep up with my blog while at the library, but she never did.

During those two years without an internet connection, I occupied myself as best I could. This photo depicts the activities of an average day (me resting in order to recover from all the naps I took).

ANYWAY, I like having the internet again because I am visiting old friends and making some new ones. I've told the lady that she must post my ramblings at least twice a week. She rolled her eyes, and made some feeble protest about "having better things to do," but she can't refuse me any request because I am the King of Everything.